Over the past few months I have had a number of conversations with close friends about being ready for children. Some people say you are never really ready but I beg to differ. Circumstances in our life caused Cole and I to start trying for kids earlier than we were planning but now that we are here we are more than ready to start this next adventure.
If you met me a few years ago, you would have learned that I was in no rush to have children. I got my fill with other people's children and was happy to hand them back when I was done. I often looked at people with kids and thought, man do they look exhausted, or wow, I am so thankful that's not us. Just being honest here, we all know my blog is a pretty honest place.
Anyway, I will say that I have always wanted kids. Cole and I have literally been talking about our "future children" since we were 18. But I was also in no rush. In my opinion parenting is a life long commitment and you never get back the time you have before kids.
So what changed? Like I said our circumstances first of all. But also a gradual transition. I believe there are three things that happen in your marriage that "prepare" you or make you feel ready for this next step.
First- I will note our circumstances. Obviously finding out I needed fertility treatment. This made us have some serious conversations about our future and plans to start a family. Ultimately, we decided not being able to ever have kids would be worse than starting earlier than we had planned. Second, God opened a door for us to move to a new house. Something we were not planning on doing. This house was larger and perfect for starting a family in. Third, our location. Cole and I live in a very family friendly city, people our age generally come here to settle down. We are not kickin it in LA or NYC where I think it would be much harder to start a family.
So back to the three things. I think these can happen at different paces for all couples and not everyone goes through them all. But this is what happened that really made things click for us.
1. Contentment. The first few years of marriage for us was all about checking things off of our bucket list. Places to travel to, dates to go on, etc. We thoroughly enjoyed our freedom as a couple and we pretty much tackled our "before kids" bucket list. So you definitely reach a point (or we did) where we had done so many fun things and we were finally just content.
2. Realizing our Selfishness. This sounds bad but it's so true. We loved being selfish. Selfish with our time, doing what we wanted, when we wanted. It was awesome. No major responsibilities, just our agenda. One day we both woke up and felt like ok this has been fun but maybe I am ready to give my time/energy to something other than myself.
3. Life Experiences. You are probably catching the theme here but enjoying life experiences was top of our minds the first few years of marriage. You reach a point where you have done so much and enjoyed so much and now you want nothing more than to share those life experiences with your own child. Cole and I truly do live a fun life and I can't wait to show Bodie all of the fun life has to offer.
There you have it. This natural progression on top of life circumstances has 100% prepared Cole and I for this next step in our lives.
So if you are not sure you will ever be ready for kids there is hope. I always knew I wanted them but I didn't feel ready for a very long time. Things change, you mature, grow up, God works in your marriage and ultimately prepares you to start that next chapter.
Happy Tuesday Friends!
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